The "Dragon on Fire" is Dragon Lee. Wacky kung fu. Shaolin strike rock fist. A fat guy sticks dishes to his boobies. Tree kicking. Whole frog soup. Attack on a parakeet. Rabid cannibal in a wheelchair. Man pisses himself. Villain tracks fights with a sand timer. Mad dog technique. Reverse-motion crawling in the grass. Slow-motion milk spurting. The hairiest toes you've ever seen. Who's who? Who knows, who cares.

Guest review by Rod Lott, editor of Bookgasm: Reading Material to Get Excited About.

Few films hit with the impact of Irving Lerner's unsung classic Murder by Contract, a 1959 crime thriller that finds that sweet spot where a strained budget and ingenuity collide to create something truly inspired.

Vince Edwards (TV's Dr. Ben Casey) plays Claude, a college educated kid who abruptly decides to build his nest egg by becoming a cold-blooded mob hitman. After a few successful jobs he's sent to the west coast to take out a key witness against Mr. Big. Claude soon arrives in sunny L.A., but his west coast contacts (Phillip Pine and Herschel Bernardi) start to sweat bullets as he continuously postpones the job to visit tourist attractions. Claude finally lays out his plan to get at the heavily guarded snitch, only to discover that his target is a woman—a twist that violates his code of ethics.

For a movie made for a handful of change, Murder by Contract does a whole lot with very little. The film's pulpy and often surprising plot unfolds over a fast-paced 80 minutes, and everything just clicks—tight direction and editing enhance impressive cinematography by Lucien Ballard (The Wild Bunch). A sparse guitar soundtrack also lends the film some additional cool.

But what's really notable is the film's "existential" hitmen lead. Claude is markedly different from earlier big screen thugs—he's completely emotionally detached to his work, which he sees only as his ticket to suburban bliss, lounging poolside with Ward and June Cleaver. This unlikely motive is mined for black comedy as Murder by Contract alternates scenes of wry humor with heartless murder, just as it contrasts Claude's icily professional demeanor with his fidgety handlers.

It's with this unique characterization that Murder by Contract (Along with similar gritty efforts like Blast of Silence and Touch of Evil) helped drag film noir from the bitter wartime cynicism of the 1940s to the prosperous suburban paradise of the '50s and '60s. Never released on DVD, it’s a film that awaits rediscovery.

Review by Paul Corupe, editor of Canadian B-film site Canuxploitation.com

Calder. I'm still trying to figure out the most simplistic way of jotting this. It's like sometimes "unintentionally" one will pass judgment on a band purely based on their name. Or even worse one can simply decide as to whether or not to purchase a particular album at a mere glance of the artwork alone.

Just like that, in this similar pattern, whenever I come across a band that is from Iceland I tend to give it my upmost attention. I guess anyone here can guess "why?" Honestly… Sigur Ros is to blame in this scenario.

Calder's Lower landed this morning and because of the fact that they are from Iceland, I literally move everything I had to do couple of hours later. This was the first tunes I plugged in my ear and upfront I can say no regrets at all.

As far as I can gather this album has been in progress for the last 3 years. After I heard the whole release I can well understand why so long. Without any exaggerations I played 04 – "Tuft" over 10 times already. I know that sounds crazy but I genuinely love this track to bits.

Huge nostalgia. The kind of tunes that revives you of your past. Music that makes one realize that life is short. An intense emotion that pushes you to pick up the phone and to say I'm sorry for everything I've done. That similar sadness of when you part from your loved ones.

I said this on one of my previous posts and I’m saying this again but this time on Calder. This is powerful music. While one would use the term textured guitars to define some post-rock release. In this instance I would say music that is packed with emotion and characters.

Seriously I can go on and on and on just for this one track. But the matter fact remains “Lower…” kicks off beautifully and maintains the same attitude throughout the entire album.

ABSOLUTE MUST… ambient/post-rock with tons of glitch/catchy and melodious euphonic sound which will please any hearing senses.

Guest review by Mogwai of SirensSounds.

To convey just how awesome this movie is, I'll skip over plot, character, cinematography and all that standard review stuff, and go straight to the rules of the drinking game.  Get a bottle of something cheap and drink every time the following happens:

• A blatant rip-off of a much better movie  
• Gratuitous nudity
• Furniture is broken
• A spit take
• The "Deathstalker" sound effect – a bleating synthesizer – goes off
• Somebody says the name "Deathstalker"

If you can still stand—or are even conscious—by the time you reach the exciting conclusion, you're a stronger person than I.

Contrary to the title, our hero Deathstalker is a barbarian… If by "barbarian" you mean "that wise guy from shop class with the feathered hair." Deathstalker teams up with a Seer (played by a Penthouse Pet, 'nuff said there) and heads off to free a beautiful princess from the clutches of an Evil Sorcerer ("Is there any other kind?" Deathstalker smirks) in order to become a legend "even bigger than Conan."

I have no idea of what exactly happens after that, and I was sober this time around (remember gang, don't drink and review). The film is a hodgepodge of chase scenes through the same section of forest, horrible effects, bad puns, random toplessness, stock footage from the first Deathstalker, zombies, explosions and a G.L.O.W. Superstar. It all comes to a head with an epic battle involving nearly 20 extras.

Perhaps my favorite moment comes during the final battle, when one of the main villains, the awesomely named "Sultana," simply leaves. That's right. Sultana all but says, "Screw you guys, I'm going home," and strolls off in the middle of the climatic battle scene, right out of the movie.

This is the most perfect film I've ever seen.

Guest review by Nolahn.
Nolahn runs the BARGAIN BIN REVIEW, where he takes on the kind of obviously bad straight-to-video movies no one else would ever bother to review.

This is a pure slice of 80's zero budget T&A video horror cheese.

It kicks off with 80's synth pop workout music that no retro night would dare spin and eventually crawls along until a cheddar quality rubber monster puppet pops out of a bowling trophy where it has been imprisoned. I think this may be the only horror flick I've ever seen where the monster was an imp. That’s right an imp that was trapped in a bowling trophy which happened to be inside a mall. And what does this imp do once its set loose, kill sorority babes who have snuck into the mall along with some loser boys one of whom throws up so many times it made me nauseous.

Like a lot of flicks from this genre it could have worked as an A film with larger production values, a more than slightly punched up script, and better actors. No insult to the great Brinke Stevens and Linnea Quigley who give it their charismatic all in early career turns and there’s also a mildly entertaining bit appearance by Whit Hubley. Is it a great laugh out loud so bad its funny flick? Don't bet your Rubik's Cube on it but it is a worthwhile once in a great while trek into the Reganomics of horror drek if like me you can enjoy that occasional indulgence.

Guest review by Paul Angelosanto, an undead being who haunts the band Astro Al.

Hack/Slash is a comic book about Cassie Hack, a young Goth girl who hunts down slashers (in the Michael Myers/Jason/Freddie Krueger vein) alongside her monstrous companion Vlad. This issue brings Cassie and Vlad to a comic convention where a team of artists and writers working on rejuvenating an old character are being picked off one at a time. (Interestingly, the artists and writers depicted in the book are real-world comic scenesters. You can expect to see Robert Kirkman, Skottie Young, Steve Niles, and Messy Stench in illustrated form.) The writing is good and the story is compact and entertaining, which is often not the case with one-shots like this. A brilliant premise (a serial killer on the loose at a comic con, I’m there!) and above average art set this apart from the no-brainer gorefests that most horror comics offer.