Jersey Girl is at least as bad as its reputation. While Ben Affleck struggles with credible acting in each of his films, the plot line and writing in Jersey Girlstretch the limits of the believable worse than Silly Putty versions of Sunday comics. Ollie Trinke (Affleck) is widowed during childbirth (his wife played by Jennifer Lopez), and must carry on as Gertie’s(Raquel Castro) father. He quickly loses his PR job, and moves from New York City back to his New Jersey suburb to live with his father (a surly cuss played by George Carlin). Soon he encounters Liv Tyler, a grad student cashiering his porn rental at the local video store, and their romance starts without any of the subtlety of a deus ex machina. It’s utterly hilarious to even entertain much of the dialogue as a mental exercise—Maya’s (Liv Tyler) “interview” concerning Trinke’s adult-rental habits, the clip where the Gertie reverses her father’s line of questioning following his and Maya’s indiscretion, a “chance” encounter with Will Smith in cameo, over whom Ollie lost his job, the completely professional mobile set on which Ollie and Gertie perform a scene from Sweeney Todd for Gertie’s elementary school. Plot, dialogue, and characters are far from compelling or entertaining, and the only reason that it merits a review is to forewarn—your time is more valuable than this. If only the actors, writers, director Kevin Smith (shame on you!), and crew had known the same.

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